Send "Eminem" Ringtones to your Cell

[Verse 1]

I was born with a dick in my brain
Yea fucked in the head
My step-father said that I sucked in the bed
'Til one night he snuck in and said
We're going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed
"Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead?"
After I fuck you in the butt, get some head
Bust a nut, get some rest
The next day my mother said, "I don't know what the fuck's up with this kid"
The bastard won't even eat nothing he scared
He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead
Jeffrey don't let that fucker get you upset
Go in there stick a fucking cigarette to his neck
I bet you he's faking it
I bet you, I'll bet he prolly wants to see how upset you would get
I'll go handle this of course unless you object
Ah, go fuck his brains out if any is left in his head

[Chorus]

If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane

If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I've completely lost it
Is he nuts? No, he's insane

[Verse 2]

You get it? No I just tried to bite my face off
I just got fucking chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw bit the fucking blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face let the thing pop
Took his eye out picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
That motherfucker's got nuts like king kong
Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
And he layed all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants he took every fucking thing off
Everything except his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw? Yea, maniac that Shady dog
Man that motherfuckers gangsta, ain't he dog?
Shady dog, what be going through that fucking brain of yours?
Say no more, what the fuck you waiting for? Sing along.

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Don't you know what felch means? (Yea)
Well then tell me, would you rather get felched or do the felching?
Fuck 'em in the ass suck the cum out while you're belching
Burp belch and go back for a second helping
Can you dig what I'm saying man? can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my step-father felt me
Fuck a little puppet kick the puppy while he's yelping
Shady what the fuck you saying? I don't know help me!
What the fuck's happening? I think I'm fucking melting!
Marshall I just love you boy I care about your well-being
No dad I said no, I don't need no help peeing
I'm a big boy I can do it by myself see
I only get naked when the babysitter tells me
She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street
But it was X and they called it Pubic Hair on Chelsey
Well this is called Ass-Rape and we should do the Jail scene

[Chorus]